Sitting with a soiled singlet in front of his workshop in Agege area of Lagos, the man spotting a pot-belly, that many could easily conclude to be a beer gut, is far from being an epitome of masculinity.
That description summed up many of the assumptions about polygamous men in Nigeria. But at this point, his grin had metamorphosed into a grim expression that speaks of the turmoil that the man was battling with.
He regarded our correspondent with suspicion and asked again why he was being interviewed about sex in polygamous marriage.
But now, Bayeju no longer grinned. He shook his head as if in self-derision when he was asked to explain what polygamous men like him go through in fulfilling their sexual duties to their wives without making the women feel cheated. According to Bayeju, more than anything else, the issue of sex is a source of constant confrontation in marriages such as his.
When women in polygamous marriages are jealous of one another, Sex with multiple wives you have to abide by their rules about sex.
He said I should not have allowed my wives to choose what days of the week I should dedicate to their sexual needs.
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He said it was his decision. But I told him that he could only say that because his two wives are not living under his roof.
Bayeju, an Akoko, Ondo Sex with multiple wives indigene, said he had been living in Lagos for 17 years. According to him, he met and married his first wife in Then, a marital indiscretion led him to impregnate a woman, who became his second wife in Our family members later settled the issue and I had to bring my second wife into the house.
We were living in a mini-flat.
So, I had to rent another apartment, a two-bedroomed flat so that they could get separate rooms. In fact, the issue of sex was out of it for many Sex with multiple wives as she refused to have sex with me. My first wife said if I did not want to create trouble in the home, Friday, Saturday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday had to be her days. I knew she was trying to punish the new woman; but just to allow peace to reign, I told her I had agreed.
But things have gradually changed over the last few years. Now, it does not really matter to either of them anymore.
When Saturday PUNCH embarked on the task of finding out how men in this sort of unions manage to cope with upholding their sexual duties to their wives without leaving anyone disgruntled, many found it amusing that anybody could be interested in their sex lives.
The Nigerian movie industry, Nollywood, has often hinted at this part of polygamy in Nigerian societies, with romanticised Sex with multiple wives story lines that portray women, who have to share their husbands with other women, laying down ground rules about what days of the week sexual contacts would happen. In many other instances, it is the men who lay down the rules because women hardly have a say in such matters in a deeply patriarchal society such as ours. My first wife welcomed me with excitement and cooked for Sex with multiple wives.
I became afraid because her happy mood was unusual. She has decided to kill you.
So, I thought she had poisoned the food. Julius said he refused to eat the food but when the woman noticed his suspicion, she sneered at him and was about eating the food herself when he took it from her and ate it. I asked her what she did, all she said was that she added something to my food, not poison but something that Sex with multiple wives make me stay up all night.